it's viral, yo.

What I failed to mention yesterday is that when I woke up at 4am and started bawling, that my exhaustion wasn't merely due to a long day at the polls or the emotional catharsis of the election ending.

I'm sick.*

It's a nasty ass head cold, too. I think. (Unless I'm throwing up or literally have to crawl from my bed to the bathroom, I usually think it's just a cold and not the flu.) Yesterday, I was running a fever or something, because I was so cold I went to turn on the heat. Except that it was 72 degrees in my unit! Instead, I made myself some tea, threw on some extra socks, wrapped myself up like a burrito in a couple blankets and rode out my chills.

Lucky me. I plan a vacation day on what turns out to be one of the warmest, sunniest November days we've had in like 40 yrs and I'm stuck in bed sucking back Nyquil. Bah.

From the time I got home on Tuesday night, until this morning (Thurs) - I hadn't seen a soul. No one to high five or hug or dance around with. I turned the phone off to get some rest yesterday, so I haven't even chatted up anyone (except my mom briefly) about the election.

I wish I had the energy to go to the rally that night, but just walking the few blocks home knocked me out, so the idea of traveling downtown and herding my way through the mass of humanity was more that I could conceive.

Fortunately, my friends went and here's the vid.

I wish I could have been there to share the moment with you guys, but I really do feel like my time as an election judge was really a positive thing. Watching people vote and being part of the process was very cathartic.





*(Don't worry Dave, hell or high water I'm working the event on Friday.)

It's on like Donkey Kong

As I ponder what my experience might be tomorrow as a novice election judge, I'm torn between utter excitement at being part of the process (and a bit of history), and the idea of a day that starts at 4am and may end 15 or 16 hours later.

Someone asked me why I'd sign up in the first place...

Tomorrow, there will be Republicans and Democrats and Independents and Libertarians and Greenies. I want them all to vote. The one idea that they emphasized at my training is that my job as an Election Judge was not to try to impede people from voting, but to make sure that everyone has a voice and all registered voters get their votes counted.

No matter how you vote, I want to make sure your vote counts.

Is the world free from corruption? No. I doubt it ever will be. But if enough of us stand together and say NO and play a part, maybe we can shake some of it loose and...hell, I'll say it...

Let freedom ring.





Now if I can get my lazy, out of shape ass to my polling place at 5am to prepare for you, YOU can get your ass over there and VOTE. (Maybe even unplug your earbuds and actually talk to your fellow line holders. They might be happy to see you too.)

While I will be impartial tomorrow, today I can say, I want Obama to win by a wide margin. A WIDE MARGIN. Only way that will happen is if everyone who is committed to voting gets out and VOTES.

It's going to be a beautiful Indian Summer day.
Don't phone it in. Get yer ass out and VOTE.

excuse me

Wow. A full week of no posts! But wait! I have excuses!


Excuse #1: The Job
Yes. The economic "slow down" (because god forbid, people actually use the word "recession" out loud) is killing jobs and business all over the place. The level of tension at our office is so rank it actually has a distinct odor. Smells a lot like combination of mildew, curry and burning tires.

I am one of the lucky few that still has a job. I know way too many people looking for paychecks right now. So, I apologise for my extremely crappy attitude about still being employed. I should be happy. I should be relaxed. Instead I'm a ball of nerves...that has to withstand the smell of burning tires and curry. Did I mention the mildew?

Currently, my work life has turned into a not-as-amusing rendition of "Office Space." Wherein, our hero has to continually create Powerpoint slides reflecting what work she is doing and what value she brings the to business. (You know...instead of spending that time...doing her work...that brings value to the business.)

If my bank account wasn't bone dry, I would tell them where to stick it, but alas, like a whore hooked on the junk, I continue to suck a dick.

Ergo, my desire to post witty or wry comments has been...limited. At best.


Excuse #2: The Election
This is good and bad.

The "bad" is any conversation with my McCain (and suddenly Palin) supporting father turns into a bloody corpse ridden car wreck. Even when we try to leave politics or the candidates off topic, we somehow find our way back to the charred and festering remains. And then stomp on them.

I'm pretty sure we need to not talk until Nov 5th. Or maybe Nov 6th even.

Watching all the fear-mongering at the McCain rallies would get filed under bad as well. Watching folks that look like my grandmother or my cousin say ignorant racist epitaphs and repeating lies and disproved rumors - it breaks a peice inside me every time.

Of course, I'm a Cubs fan. I'm used to repairing internal and consistant damage.

The good comes from how FREAKING EXCITED I am to be an Election Judge. For reals. My letter came about two weeks back and this past week I had my training downtown. There is something about this candidate that inspired me to not only get out and vote early, but to contribute to my community by serving in what's gearing up to be one of the biggest attended elections in decades.

Now, if you know me, you know how I feel about low voter turnout. The idea that people - either out of fear or hope or belief in one's candidate - are headed to the polls in numbers not seen in years, can't be anything but something to celebrate.

It's gonna be a long day. I start at 5am and don't get to leave until the last person in line votes and we've broken down the equipment. In fact, I'm taking the 6th off to sleep and hopefully celebrate.

If you voted early - AWESOME! I hope your line wasn't too long.

If you are voting on Tuesday, be patient and be pleased that so many of your neighbors are doing their civic duty and voting. Be nice.

And unless your Election Judges (the folks that check you in and hand you your ballots and give you your "I voted!" sticker) are completely assy to you...Thank Them. (Or at the very least, pretend it's me and Thank me.)

I'm going to do my best to be thrilled at everyone who walks through the door. Hopefully, not in an annoying way, but in a, "Voting is So Awesome and You're Awesome for waiting in line to do it!" way. Which is probably annoying after 4 hours, much less 12 or more.


Excuse #3: Halloween
Last week was all about getting a costume together for a friend of a friend's Old West costume party which was held last weekend. (every year they have a different theme.)

I went as a shot of whiskey.
K went as a shot of tequila.
M went as a beer chaser.

Ultimately, while fun to collaborate on (and easy to wear for the most part), most folks didn't "get it." We'd even hand out little pics of ourselves, as in..."Here! Take a shot of Whiskey!" And then folks would be like, "...oh....OH! I GET IT."

So, as an acheiveable costume, I believe this year goes down as a FAIL.

The best costumes need no such gaggery or explanation. But that's ok. We enjoyed ourselves, drinking Coronas by the firepit. And M got to have fun trying to hit me with the beer can he was "chasing" all night. Good times. Good times.

Also. There were giant cupcakes of death (and deliciousness.)

After all...not every year can hit the bar set by "Polygamist Zombies."

Big Zombie Love (click for awesome details)



Something for the mantle.




Little works of Zombie Art.
At least two still walk the earth...

true

HOPE: A Play In Two Acts

Act One: The 'Alaska Women Reject Palin Rally'
This rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. These women hatched the plan, printed up flyers, posted them around town, and sent notices to local media outlets. One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots”, and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought. The women, of course, received many nasty, harassing and threatening messages.

The rally was a huge success and had a bigger turn out that the GOP plotted "Welcome Home" rally for Palin.
GOP/Asshole Talk Show Hosts 0, Mammas for Obama 1.




My mom once dressed up in a gorilla suit and came to my grade school (the other mom's were dressed up as "cute" witches and cats.) So you'll have to excuse my bias to the mom who dressed up as a polar bear. Hells, yeah.





Act Two: The No Hitter



I believe. I believe. I believe that This. Is. The. Year.

media 0, late night host 1

This gent has been a US citizen for less than 8 months.

He gets it. In this monologue from last Wednesday, he cut through all the blather of the past week and calls bullshit on the media, the campaigns and the apathy of the American public.




Listen, I'm an American. This country is at war. Right now, Americans in foreign lands, wearing the uniform, representing this country are losing their lives. Americans here in this country are losing their homes. We have two patriotic candidates, right? They both love this country. They have different ideas about what do with it. Learn about them. Read about them. Question them. Listen to them. Then on Election Day, excercise your right as an American and listen to yourself.

Why is it that people who have lived here their entire lives can't get the idea through their thick skulls that voting and reading and learning about the candidates should be one of the biggest responsiblities they hold.

1. Voting is your duty.
2. Voting is your sacred right.
3. If you don't vote, you're a moron.


Most states even have early voting so if you can't cram it into your day on Tuesday, November 4th, you have several chances to knock it out early. I "early voted" in the primaries and there was no line and it took all of ten minutes out of my day.

I volunteered to be an election judge this year. We'll see if I make the cut.

she's a stacy

Last week some folks I know were talking about Hilliary and her unwillingness to exit the race. The Tribune compared her to a cat that refuses to die after being run over. How she's alienating Dems right and left and may in fact be damaging the party wholesale.

Ouch. My comment was that instead of making the smart move and bowing out with some/any semblance of grace or stewardship, she seems bent on going out like that heinous stereotype of the clingy ex-girlfriend (re: Stacy from Wayne's World.) And I'm not the only one with that belief. She's become the psycho girlfriend who can't stop calling.

As much as it's a boon to women everywhere to have had a viable female candidate running for the White House, she's now (much like Bush trashed the world's support after 9-11) causing more and more damage and trashing the gains. After decades of listening to lame jokes of what a woman leader would be like [insert bit about menstruation, shopping, chocolate, etc.], she is truly injuring the perception of a woman in the presidency. Turning what could be a proud moment for American women into a throwaway joke for a stand up.

[in my best Ron Burgandy voice] Get classy, Hilliary. For the love of all that is right, class your shit up.

100 years war

Please excuse this small outburst. MUTHATRUCKA!! WE SWEPT THE DIAMONDBACKS!!! WOOT!!! A sweet, sweet victory - which puts us back up at the top, tied in first with St. Louis. It's silly how a ballgame can make you feel lousy or fantastic...but I'm glad we're on the right side of that coin! And to sweep a team that's been playing as well as the D-backs...and it IS the D-backs (after they booted us so unceremoniously from the playoffs)...I'm walking on muthafuckin' sunshine!

Not to say I told you so, but I totally told you they just needed some home games to reset that on the road bullshit. Word.