bah-orde

I'm having a hard time concentrating today. Still on those antihistamines...and to be honest, I need a break from a project I'm working on. A friend sent one of those emails where - instead of them telling you 20 thing about themselves, you had to fill in the blank and return it. Ah...time killers, how we adore thee!

Odd. I seem to be at a loss on my friend's eye color. Pah! And when did we meet/became friends? Seriously? Haven't you just always been there? In that corner? Sipping your cocktail?

The best question was the following: If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing that I would bring?


The best response was from Sir Dennis who wrote back: [You would bring] the entire script of some god awful movie (....hmmm.....what would that movie be.......well I will let you bring it and surprise me) so we could turn it into a hip hop new broadway musical. I think you can take shit and turn it into gold!!! I want to be there to reap the harvest.

Well, I don't know about you, but I heard a gauntlet drop.

[execute difficulty level 3 hip hop stance]



Here is my Top 10 List (Letterman style) of Scripts to turn into the Hottest Hip Hop Musical to Ever Hit Broadway:


10. TREMORS
If Phantom can have that huge chandellier crashing into the stage, we can have giant worms lunging out of it (and performing as a breakdancing chorus line)

9. MEN AT WORK
The catch? We get a different B or C list celebrity to play the "dead politician" each week.

8. OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE
But only if WE star in it. Me in Bette's role, Sir Dennis in Shelly Long's.

7. TO EACH HIS OWN
My fav Olivia De Haviland flick. Set in WWI, she throws down a one-night stand with an aviator (who I believe is later tragically killed), has his illigitimate baby for which she devises a scheme to "adopt" while still protecting her family's good name. Scheme backfires and she spends her entire life forced to watch another family in town raise him and later, send him off to WW II. I can hear the beatbox even now....

6. THE OUTSIDERS
The entire cast made up of trannies and cross dressers. With the exception of Ralph Macchio reprising his role as Johnny! "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold."*

5. WEDDING BELL BLUES
This will be waaaaaay bigger than Mamma Mia. A rallying cry for all the 30/40-something women who remain single and/or get dumped at the alter/knocked up by their lout of a boyfriend. There's even a sub-plot on "trapping a rich man into marriage...or having an abortion!" Plus, it's set in VEGAS! VEGAS!!!

4. SIX PACK
Cashing in on all the NASCAR lovers - and with six raggamuffins in this, it will be the next Annie!!

3. LITTLE DARLINGS
Who doesn't want to hear a musical about pre-teens gettin' it on at camp? Also, we'll have Kristy MacNichol in a cameo role as the camp counselor.

2. VAMP
Four words. Singing. Dancing. Vampire. Strippers.



And my number one script to turn into the hottest hip hop musical to ever hit broadway.........


1. RED DAWN
I'm pitching it as The Breakfast Club meets Les Miz!



Okay. Back to the grind I go.


*Confession. "Stay Gold" - the theme to The Outsiders was voted by my HS class to be our "class song." Granted, we voted for it our freshman year..and what 14 year old in 1983 wasn't completely rocking out to this Stevie Wonder classic? Uh. Well. It seems like the thing to do at the time. (Oh, and you'll want to click to the the youtube vid. It's even more painful and sacchrine than I remember. "Life is but a twinkling of an eye...Yet filled with sorrow and compassion...") Yeah. I think we all just wanted Emilio Estevez Matt Dillon C.Thomas Howell to make out with us. And this was the next best thing. Word.