alms

The letter came yesterday. Our third major condo assessement in less than 4 years. The running total is somewhere between 18K-20K. I will now be paying in excess of $500 a month just in assessment costs starting in May. Not counting my mortgage. Or taxes. Etc., etc., etc. (Yo. Cuz, I didn't have 20 large sitting in the bank to pay these special assmts up front, yo!)


What does this mean? Well, unless I become fabulously weathly by other means to be determined (i.e. the lottery, an unknown inheritance, well-planned heist or the acquisition of a sugar daddy), I will not be able to do much of anything for quite a while.

I will not be able take even a (super) cheap vacation this year.
I will not be able to trade in my 11 year old heap for a somewhat less crappy heap.
I will not be able to pay down much on my current debt or donate to charitable orgs as I had been planning.
I will have to really get onboard with an extremely tight budget and stick to it.


It means that I really might have to get a second gig just to cover that cost and/or really consider getting a roomie/boarder. Neither option really puts a grin on my face. Mainly this is all causing my mind to wander and occassionally freak out about money about 125x a day. Okay. more like 15 times a day, but, you know, more time than I should be spending on it.

If I look back on my life, I know that I tend to really freak out about money about once every 4-5 years, so I'm pretty much on track. I'm trying to calm my brain with the notion that:

1) It's just money. It's just stuff. It's not worth all the anxiety.
2) No person has ever pounded on my door demanding payment for anything.
3) I've never had to go without anything I truly needed.
4) I've always had a roof over my head (and never had to move back in with my parents....knock wood. Which at my age is a more frightening thought than it was at 18 or 28.)
5) This freakout, too, shall pass.
6) In the end, everything has worked out.
7) There are better things to spend my energy on and occupy my brain.


Fucking money. Fucking economy. Fucking developer who cut so many corners, it's a shock that our building isn't round. (sigh)

Ok. Just had to get that out of my system.
I feel at least 12% better now.