picture day 04.29.09

I've actually been thinking more about green related issues this week than I did on Earth Day. In fact, I think the Bernard Court Ladies Auxiliary might be signing up to support local farmers.

Baby roo judges you.

Or, he might want to chew on your skull. Hard to discern.

I would like to throw out a fist bump to our President for making it through these rocky first 100 days. Nobody said it was going to be a cake walk. Actually, someone may have said that. Keep on trucking, POTUS!

Get Up On This: Spelling Bee

Okay, this one is slightly self-serving.

The gents who are producing THEMS are throwing this shindig. And I'll be there.

And I believe it's BYOB, so let's get a sixer and spell our brains out!

It's a Winner Take All Spelling Bee at the Playground Theater on May 2nd. Pay $15.00 and enter the Bee, or pay just $5 and watch!

The winner will take the money from gathered from the entrants!

So, the more people who play, the bigger the pot!

Doesn't this sound like fun? You can watch or play...and isn't there a part of you that's always wanted to try your skills in a Bee...but discovered that you can't go back to 5th grade?

I'm a decent speller, but a horrible typist...so who knows if I'll make it past the first round.

10pm - this Saturday night @ the Playground

$5 to Watch, $15 to Play!

For those of you who will be too far from Halsted to participate, I'll recommend a viewing of Spellbound which was the documentary of the 1999 Scripps National Spelling Bee. Think of it as a warm-up to the 82nd Scripps National Spelling Bee which is coming in about a month.

Last night I caught a bit of one of the early Harry Potter movies. Chamber of Secrets, methinks. Anyway, what struck me is how beautiful and descriptive the english language can be when you use it...correctly. Damn Brits always sounding so high falootin'!

I'm as guilty of buffoonery as the next guy, when it comes to the grunts and mutterings that fall out of my pie-hole. I think that's why I love the idea of spelling bees. It's not just about the ability to retain correct spellings and meanings of words. It's about WORDS. The noble building blocks for novels, poems, songs, conversations, philosophies, jokes, eulogies...hell. Even blogs.

de plane

I suppose there's history to be found just about everywhere you go in the world, but as I've mentioned before, I really enjoy the seemingly unlimited histories of Chicago.

Last week, a marine salvage company, working with the naval aviation museum, hauled this out of Lake Michigan, about 30 miles from shore:





The aircraft went down during WWII training operations when naval pilots were being trained off Navy Pier for takeoffs and landings on aircraft carriers.

The plane was lost Nov. 24, 1944, as Ensign Joseph Lokites, a pilot with 380 flight hours, tried his third of about six required landings on the USS Wolverine.

"It just crashed. I guess it ran out of gas or something. I took over from another pilot," Lokites, 86, said in a phone interview from his Des Moines home. He landed in frigid water, and the right wing dipped under, but he was still able to jump out.

"It's not cold when you're fighting for life or death," he said, chuckling. "I was lucky."

A handful of pilots died, and more than 100 planes were lost to the lake. About 40 have been recovered, restored and spotlighted in Naval collections, museums and airport terminals.


While there are still about 60 planes hidden beneath the surface of the lake, chances of recovering them are getting slimmer due to the invasion of deep water quagga mussels (seen covering the plane.) Post restoration, this aircraft will be put on display in the National WWII Museum in New Orleans.

Man! I'm just thinking of all the Postmortem monologues I could have done if I read this ten years ago!

don't look behind you

My internet was wonky last night, so I couldn't get online in time for a Wed post. Dagnabit.





We are 5 rehearsals away from opening this puppy.

Tonight's my first night off since Friday. I'm sure this rehearsal process is making the cast roll it's eyes at me every now and then, but I really think there is a method to the madness I'm inflicting upon them.

This is such a fun mesh of improv and stagecraft, I really can't wait for it to be ready for folks to see! The base for the crew costumes arrived this week and they look HAWESOME. We need to spruce them up a bit, make them look a little more lived in. I won't name names, but there's at least one crew member who doesn't want to take his off. That's how swank they are.


The cast/crew is so right on track it kills me. They really have gone above and beyond in creating folks with depth, personality and humor. For me, the devil is in the details. Delicious, delicious details.

At this point, it's all about running the show and tweaking the show. Tweaking costume, prop and tech details and helping the performers get comfortable enough to "oh yeah, go there!"

Also, did I mention....it's hysterical? They are hysterical. And so much fun.

I really owe the boys for bringing me onboard.
This show is makes me six kinds of giddy, yo!


THEMS
Opening Night...May 9th.
Tickets $20 (worth every penny, son.)
Reserve your seat at: www.themsiscoming.com

Get Up On This: Public Libraries

I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to be really honest with yourself...



When's the last time you went to your public library?

Dude. That's too long.

Now, granted, I live in a swinging metropolis and our public library system isn't too shabby, but no matter where you live, supporting your public library is one of the best things you can do for your brain, your wallet and your community.

My nearest library is the Kimball branch and it's kinda like your grandma's basement. It's not pretty or bright or architectually interesting like some branches, but it's got books and stuff!

They have the usual on tap - books, audio books, DVDs, free wifi - but, once you get your library card, you can also get a TON of stuff online via their downloadable media site! Ebooks, audio books, mp3s, video.

Did I mention the free downloads of mp3s and audio books? In mere minutes you could be listening to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Ender's Game or The Art of War...or jamming to Mavis Staples, Schubert or Skinny Puppy.

Most branches have book clubs and many offer additional educational programming - such as this program teaching kids about being smart with money.

But even in spots like Elkton, Maryland or Cocoa, Florida...your local public library is worth checking out, yo!

city-fied town

Photo Credit: Sarah-Ji

So, it's kind of an old cliche that Chicago is more like a midwestern town than a world class metropolis. For me, it's more like they co-exist in the same plane.

I've borrowed Sarah-Ji's pix (that's a shot of Phyllis' Musical Inn, btw), one, because it looks like an amazing set that she designed and lit just for that picture...but in reality, she just walked into the bar and took that shot. The lady's got the most amazing eye, I tell you! And two, because I seemed to spend a goodly part of my weekend socializing in bars.

That shot is what Chicago looks like in my mind.

A very simple everyday scene that, if you look at it closer, seems to hold a bit of magic.

And better still, a fully stocked bar.

my own worst enemy

My brain is not functioning within established parameters.

1) I woke up this morning and was convinced it was Saturday. Not that "oh, I kinda wish it were Saturday" or "for the 10 seconds between sleeping and waking I thought it was Saturday." I literally had to sit there and think about what day it was.

For 20 minutes.


2) I love broccoli. I read the best way to prepare it is to nuke it (otherwise, you lose all the nutrients or something.) Last night I baked the perfect pork chop (so tender and juicy) and nuked an entire head of broccoli. I took about 1/4 of the broccoli out of the dish and left the rest in the microwave, since I figured I might want a bit more and figured it might stay warmer if I left the dish in there.

And then I went to bed.

I just this instant remembered that I have this huge amount of broccoli just sitting in my microwave.


3) My brain continues to self-implode. Even though my smarts kicked in enough to realise it's Friday and got my ass to the office? While it was willing to concede that today is Friday? Somewhere it decided that it's now Friday the 24th, instead of Friday the 17th.

I sent an email out to a bunch of folks about a rehearsal that will happen next week, but instead made reference to it being tomorrow. I lost count at how many red flags got tossed within 2 minutes of hitting "send."


4) We have a "temp" (who has been here for nearly a year) who was given her notice on Wednesday that today is her last day. Our office didn't even send out any kind of message to our team, since she's a temp and not salaried, which is all kinds of fucked up.

This morning, someone brought in donuts for her last day here. Donuts that were on the other side of our office. Donuts that I didn't know existed, until an email alerted me to both her leaving and the fact that there were donuts.

I've successfully avoided the donuts, but I have to admit, for about 15 minutes, even though I wasn't hungry, I felt like I was having physical reaction - much like a junkie going through DTs. I literally had to force myself to stay in my chair and say, "Pinata Leg. Pinata Leg. Exploding Heart. Pinata Leg." Over and over until it passed.

I'm fine now. But, man, that was viceral.
Especially when I'm not that really into donuts.


5) I have a little scab on the corner of my mouth and another just to the right of my chin. The six year old in my can't stop scratching them or touching them 1,000 times an hour.

You know, if it was my knee or my elbow, I wouldn't be so annoyed, but it's my face, asshat! Stop touching them! You would think that the idea of having a couple tiny scars on my face might deter me...but my hands...my hands! Won't stop!


Who will win this test of wills?!!


Dammit. I just scratched at it again.

addendum

The other thing I'm working on is my skewering of a School House Rock classic...to be performed LIVE at Timber Lanes tomorrow night...around 10:30pm.

All in an effort to raise money for WNEP.

Unlike other Chicago companies, the Chicago Theater scene will not collapse if you do not donate ten cents per pin to your favorite WNEP Bowler. Chicago won't suddenly become like St. Louis, no children will be without a decent theatrical education, the vast array of Chicago original productions will not dry up and leave you with no theater to see except for the fifth production of The Tempest and a slew of Neil Simon plays.

But, if you want to see my SHR skewering, you'll have to pony up some dough! Much like our ousted govenor, I'm embracing a pay-to-play ideology.

So far I have $65 on the line...you want to throw another sawbuck in the pool? I'll happily send you the link.

Even if you don't have lots of dough, come hang out and have a beer and a cheese-it brand cracker. We'll likely throw a split the pot raffle in the mix as well.

A nice night at Ye Olde Bowling Alley...it's just what the doctor ordered.

thems

I'm working on a show that opens next month called THEMS.

It's an improvised homage to some of our favorite sci-fi films, and is, for all intents and purposes, "Alien meets The Thing." I was brought on to direct. Finally, all those hours of watching (and rewatching) those movies on many a lazy Saturday is paying off.

I'm working with a great cast who is taking this project with all the seriousness and sense of purpose it requires. It's not a spoof. This is not "monkeys-flying-out-my-butt" improv. Each performer is crafting a fully-formed character which they'll maintain throughout the run. It's no small feat to take an archetypical character and make it live and breathe without becoming a charicature...but that's the ultimate goal and I think the cast is doing a hell of a job thus far.

While I'm a big fan of solid bare bones, long form improv...I'm really digging what we're creating. Something like a half-breed of improv and a fully formed play. We're not recreating the wheel. Structured improv has been around for ages. But, I don't think I've seen this genre before - and this level of commitment to the genre without making it a parody of itself.

We're trying to create the world of THEMS as fully as possible on a tiny stage. Costumes, some killer props, a good amount of simple (but impactful) tech to take you even closer into that world.

There are strong structural elements to the show - within which the cast will improvise toward the ultimate conclusion.

What that conclusion turns out to be each week...I can't wait to find out.

If you're a fan of any of these films, I'd recommend you check it out:
Alien
The Thing
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 or 1978 versions)
Dawn of the Dead

In the meantime, I'll be over in the corner, doing what I can to help make this a freaking kick ass show.


THEMS
Opens Saturday, May 9
$20 (it will be worth it, I promise)
10:30pm Sat nite thru June 27.
The Playground Theater

picture day, 04.15.09

Oh...how I long to put a list up next to this with the heading of, WHAT YOU WOULD BE GIVING UP YOU MORONS: traffic signals, drinkable tap water, public education, plowed roads, forest preserves, public parks, mail delivered to your home, lead free toys, libraries, the ability to call 911, affordable utilities, disease-free pets, clean lakes/rivers/ponds, breatheable air...etc, etc. etc.

Idiots. And I love how they're putting this all at the feet of Obama.
Who's not even 3 months into the job.

Also, anyone going to a protest and using the phrase"tea bagging" is just wholely without a compass in this world.






Is it just me, or does everyone hear Harvey Korman saying, "Lily, Lily, Lily..." (circa "Blazing Saddles") when they see this picture?

Go Cubs.





Is it wrong to think having a player named Milton Bradley is just plain awesome?

Answer: NO. It is awesome.





I'm not sure what the title of my autobiography is today...but I'm pretty sure this is the cover art.








I don't care if it is a photo op.
I love this picture for 10, 000 reasons.

back to life

I'll assume that most if not all of you know that I had a fairly serious health issue that laid me out last week. It's improving, but ongoing and I'm sure I'll talk about it at length some other time.

Since I'm baby-stepping all over the place, I'm just going to make this a quick and painless post.


I've noticed that on many blogs that I frequent that they have a structure to their posts - a way to help focus and generate the material published that is content specific. I've decided to co-opt that plan for this blog.

From now on (or until I change my mind) I'll be posting as follows:

Mon - Focus on Chicago centric stuff and/or my pending To Do List
Tue - A "get up on this" entry - website, movie, etc.
Wed - Picture Day. The last one made me laugh. So, I'm keeping it.
Thu - What I'm Working On. Could be a show, could be a new soup recipe.
Fri - Random. Whatever I feel like posting. Could be a rant, could be a youtube vid.

The weekends will be free and breezy and I'll post what and when it seems like a good idea.

So, tomorrow, we'll kick it off with Picture Day.
Aren't you foaming at the mouth?



Oh...one last thing. Due to my health, I've been sidelined for the WNEP Bowl-a-thon this year. I'll still be attending on Friday night, but I'm not planning on bowling until my Pinata Leg is completely human and weight bearing.

Still, I'd like to help raise a few bucks for Ye Olde Theater Company, so if you were planning on pledging, please consider a flat donation. I know that this is also a rough year for lots of folks (including myself) with the economy in the tank, so really, any amount is truly appreciated!

All are welcome to hang out at Timber Lanes, nosh on some grub, have a drink at the bar and watch as I skewer yet another School House Rock classic.

Yes, the pool is now up to $65 for me to perform a SHR song and have it posted to youtube.

What song will I sing?
Only the Shadow knows!


If you're in town and are looking for some laid back Friday good timing, stop on by!

WNEP Bowl-a-thon 2009
Friday, April 17th @ 10:00pm
Timber Lanes - 1851 W Irving Park

how to bottle joy

In three easy steps:

Step one: Commission and produce a glass replica of a Crystal Skull.

Step two: Create a quadruple-distilled vodka, triple filtered through carbon...and then triple filter is through "500 million year old quartz crystals, known as Herkimer diamonds."

Step three: It puts the vodka in the skull.

It is entirely worth your precious, spare moments to watch the video by Dan Ackroyd. I guess this went "viral" in October, but this is the first I've heard about it.

All I know is that at $250 a bottle, this vodka better cure cancer or magically refill itself. For that kind of coin, it better sing me lullabies at bedtime and walk the dog on rainy days. Or at least make me so drunk that I'm unaware that it's raining out when I'm walking the dog.

Oh, wait. The suggested retail price (if you can find it in stock) is a more affordable, but still pricey, $50. Damn! That's some serious price gouging!

Although, I think we all knew going in...joy doesn't come cheap.

picture day

Some days you are the baby kimodo dragon.
Some days you're the bug.

*********************************************

I do not like Peeps. They are my least favorite thing about Spring/Easter. In my opinion, the only good peep is a carmelized peep. The fact that grown-ass adults would create diaramas using peeps only makes me want to smash them more.


Although...if this could solve the pothole problem in Chicago, I would be all for it.





And if I was voting, I would crown this one.
And then set it on fire.
"Peep on a Wire."

*********************************************

Recently, I bought this shirt for my sister, who is:

1) a leo
2) a girl
3) a gay

It's from the threadless folks and is titled, "Gay Pride."





I am also:
1) a leo
2) a girl



But, I am not gay.

I really covet this shirt, since it's all pink and covered with Lions (dude, I wanted to name our dog Aslan, but was out-voted.) If I were to wear this shirt, I have no doubt that many folks I know, would think I was gay....which normally? Whatever. But, as I believe much of the population already thinks I'm gay, I'm kinda fighting an uphill battle as it stands.

While I love that shirt, I'd rather avoid having this conversation.
Again.

- Dude, I'm not gay.
- But you're shirt is sooooooo gay!
- Yeah. But, I'm not gay.
- Are you sure? You kinda seem gay.
- I'm sure. Not gay.
- Really? Cuz I always kinda pegged you for...
- Not gay, dude.
- Oh. Okay..... Are you sure?

*********************************************

Hey.
I dig robots as much as the next nerdling.
I celebrate all machinery that make my life less toiling. I [heart] my washing machine, the timer on my lamp. Even my beater of a car.

I'm even cool with them being better at math.

But, a giant robot that breathes fire?

"The system goes online on August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2:14 AM, Eastern time, August 29th."

Oof. No more giant robots, okay Tokyo?

happiness is...

Things that have made me happy recently.
In no particular order...

- The latest episode of Dollhouse. It's been a slow build, and part of me worries that Whedon is writing with the thought that DH will have the same short-lived fate as Firefly, but this week's show came out swinging. Hixx, you should really give this another shot. When Helo and Eliza D finally meet, it's on like MFing Donkey Kong.

- That the outro song for Dollhouse this week was "Sweet Dream" by Greg Laswell. I can't get enough of this album. In a way, I'm really happy I'm not in a relationship, because it has a very sweet romantic vibe to it...and I'm kinda glad that it won't have that brand on it 10 years from now, where I connect it to some guy I was schtupping.

- The name Ulysses Brambor. I invented this name today. I'm pretty sure I need to write a scene about Ulysses...or the people who've crossed paths with him.

- Vegas in the fall with M (fingers crossed) and S. Just the idea of this puts a huge smile on my face! But, even if it's just me and S, that would be delightful in and of itself. I'd get some solo time to crash out poolside while he's at his seminars and we'd hit some tasty meals and some even tastier table action. I was going to cash in my giant "coin jar" and throw it in my savings, but I think that I'll just keep adding to it until the trip, and use it for my spending money for the tables instead. Come here little coins!!

- Dusting off the creative part of my brain. I'm going to be directing a show in May-June (info forthcoming), and working on some pre-production schtuff with the producers has been delightful. I've been working out rehearsal agendas (what I want to accomplish in each) and thinking about format and technical ideas. Basically, my job is just to point the ship towards it's ultimate destination, the cast has to man the boat, stay on course and keep it afloat. While battling zombies.

- Olive crashing out on the bed last night. I don't know how many of you live alone and have a dog. (I'm not sure it's the same experience as a cat, so I'm keeping it specific.) Next month it will be 10 years since I ran into Olive on a farm down in TN. There is no doubt that Olive loves YOU, but, she's quite fickle when it comes to me. While she enjoys napping near me on weekend afternoons, she's gotten into the habit of crashing solo at night - either on the floor of my room or in the living room. She was gone by the time I woke up, but it was nice to fall asleep with the beast curled up next to me, once again.

Part of my brain tells me that she has stopped bunking with me regularly as a method to "wean" me. That way, one day, when she's gone on to that great bacon filled resort in the sky, it will be easier to get used to sleeping without her. (how hard was that sentence to type? HARD.)

The other part of my brain thinks she's just sick of my snoring.


- Meals with friends. Last week I had one dinner with J, another dinner with J, her sister A and a couple other ladies (S and R) and a spectacular lunch with JS (no relation to J.) Now, as much as I need to pinch some pennies, those meals were worth every cent (especially the one where J picked up the tab - thanks, yo!) Sometimes, I forget that friends (and alcohol) are gifts we give ourselves. And renewed friendships are like getting a round on the house. Holla.

- Youtube. My mom is a proud turtle owner. I said it.

She found one on the side of Interstate 57 on a trip to visit me in college...over 20 years ago. I often wonder, if he outlives her - would I adopt it, or find a nice home for it? I doubt after two decades of being hand fed, he'd survive in the wild. Then again, I know squat about turtles and their ability to adapt.

Anyway, maybe you've seen that video where the turtle is humping a shoe.
And it's making that noise? And you can see its turtle junk?

So...yeah.
A turtle humping a shoe....made me think about my mom.

So...I...called her. In 20 years, I've heard lots of stories about Saluki (the turtle), but I never heard about it humping stuff. I had to know.

As blunt as I normally am, I have to say, describing that video to my mom was hysterically awkward. Long story short, she had never witnessed this kind of behavior from her pet...but was beyond curious and had me send her the link.

I sent my mom a link to a turtle humping a shoe.

And all is right with the world.

perception

My brain says, "This is what happy sounds like."




I dare you to karaoke along...wherever you are right NOW.


S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

Gonna keep on dancin' to the rock and roll
On Saturday night, Saturday night
Dancin' to the rhythm in our heart and soul
On Saturday Night, Saturday night

I I I I I just can't wait
I I I I got a date

At the good ole rock and roll road show, I gotta go
Saturday Night, Saturday Night
Gonna rock it up, roll it up, do it all, have a ball,
Saturday Night, Saturday Night

It's just a Saturday Night
It's just a Saturday Night
It's just a Saturday Night

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

Gonna dance with my baby till the night is thru
On Saturday Night, Saturday Night
Tell her all the little things I'm gonna do
On Saturday night, Saturday Night

I I I I love her so
I I I I'm gonna let her know

At the good ole rock and roll road show, I gotta go
Saturday Night, Saturday Night
Gonna rock it up, roll it up, do it all, have a ball,
Saturday Night, Saturday Night

SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT
SATURDAY NIGHT...

when worlds collide

Witness. A perfect storm of comedy.



"These are the "no go" areas: drugs, child abuse, the Holocaust."

"N. Do you know what Necrophilia is?"


Give it up to Elmo for holding his own with Gervais.

major

First, the meme: 1. List three of your major artistic influences and three unexpected ones

It's kind of a hell when you have writer's block. Or is it writers' block? Not sure. Either way, "tomorrow" took a few more days than I originally planned.


My three major influences?

1) History. I know that's kind of all encompassing in a way, but looking over my work and life, it's the history of places and people and even things that seems to spur me on. It's reading about other lives and views and both building and reflecting and homaging those stories that excite me.

I am a big believer that unless we learn from the past, we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. That we have to connect with the humanity of the folks who created the world we live in as much as the folks who live across the street...or across the globe.


Here's an example - The Tiffany Dome in the Chicago Cultural Center.



It's the largest of it's kind in the world. It's the kind of thing I could ponder for hours.

Imagining when the Cultural Center was first built - it was Chicago's original public library. All the people who came into the library from 1897, 1924, 1958, to borrow a book, or just get out of the rain.

What the laborers were like who created that astounding piece of art.
All the folks, who stared up at it over the years...like indoor stargazers.

Two of my favorite shows have always been Postmortem and Defending Your Life. The casts were both amazing to work with, but it was the chance to create a moment out of time or in another time...it's always been the most fun I've ever had.

So, yeah. History.
Be it small and personal or large and global...History eggs my brain on.


2) Studs Terkel/Errol Morris. I'm not sure if it's wrong to have these guys share a tier, but in my mind, they've had equal influence. Much like a branch off "History" - both these gents, in their own genres, have put spotlights on both the everyday folk and the celebrity. And really, aside from a publicist, there is no difference between folks and celebs.

Every person has a story, sometimes you have to really be patience, but sooner or later, they will tell it to you. It matters not the depth or breadth of the tale. All stories have the potential to connect the teller to the listener. And that connection? It makes the world go round. Or makes it go bumpy. But it makes it go.


3) Louis Armstrong. I don't tend to play those "what would your desert island Top 10" games. But if I crashed and was stuck on an island and I could only have one record (although I would wish for the whole catalogue) of one artist, it would be Louis Armstrong.

As a kid, when I said my prayers, I would silently ask God to make Louis Armstrong my guardian angel. He just always seemed so full of wisdom and joy and made amazing music.

Whenever I get really stuck...be it writing, or in my head, or in life? I listen to Louis. He is my reset button. He is who I celebrate with. He is who I cook or clean or screw around on the computer to...he fits every mood, every occasion. And at all times, his music gives me a peaceful mind.


Three unexpected artistic influences, which I will not elaborate on: The Quiet Man, Roderick Jaynes and Annie Duke.

muddy gestures

Last night, as I left my office and walked out to the parking lot, I noticed in the growing dark that my car seemed...tilty.

Hello, Flat Tire At The End Of A Long Day.

I used to have this awesome (and insanely affordable) AAA-like coverage through my cel provider...but they were losing money on it, so they pulled the plug. Since then, I've been AAA-free. Which meant, I'd be changing that spare thank you, very much.

Lucky for me, a co-worker was also working a bit late. I figured it would be easier to deal with the flat in the burning light of day (versus the cold and dark of night), so I finagled a ride to the Cumberland stop on the Blue Line. A couple stops down is Jefferson Park, where I caught the bus and was home by 7:40pm.


My 70 year old father would not hear of my plans to change the spare. Even though I have changed multiple spares in my day. By myself, thank you. He drove over to my office around 11am this morning and met me in the lot.

I honestly think it took longer to empty out my trunk to get to the spare...than the actual "changing" of the spare. Mi Dios. My pack-rat traits are astonishing to behold. Perhaps later, when I "repack" the trunk, I'll make a list of everything that was in there. Oof. It was like my trunk threw an ambush intervention to expose my addiction to the world. Or at least, my father. Erg.

Well, 70 year old Pop quickly realised that the equation of: his knees + hard asphalt x cranking the jack/loosening lug nuts = not gunna happen.

Which is how I ended up covered in muck while trying to position the jack. (Yes. My bad for not bringing something to change into...against my better judgement, I know, I know, I know.)

Bingo Bango, Spare is on the Car.

I'll have my tire fixed after work (nail/rivet was the culprit.)


When everything was put away and as I prepared to head back into work, my father told me he had brought a few things to give me.

Chalk it up to that parent DNA that you must send your child out into the world with, at the very least, a bag lunch. I received:

3 containers of Frozen Soup (homemade!)
1 head of iceberg lettuce
2 cans of Barq's Diet Root Beer
1/2 a loaf of French Bread

...and a small bunch of white daisies.


"I figured you could use 'em."



I know there are a lot of folks out there right now who have much bigger woes on their plate - unemployeed, stressed, worried about their kids, how to pay for college, how to pay the rent...and so on.

In the big scheme of things, a flat isn't that big a deal.
It's the teeniest of fleas in the ointment.

I guess, I just want to say, that if you're reading this...and you get "muddy" today? I hope somebody turns around and hands you "daisies."

It's usually the smallest of gestures that give us the resolve to keep on keepin' on.

Word.

the look

Maybe you know Chuck.

He is the canine muse to Beth H, creater of dooce.
He's kinda "internet famous" for being able to balance things on his head.

This is Chuck's counterpart, Coco.

I'm always envious of the shots Beth can get of these two.

While photogenic, Olive isn't really into posing for the cameras. Most shots I have of her are of furry out-of-focus dog ass.

Instead, I live vicarious thru Beth's awesome pooch photography.

I haven't been over to the site in a couple months...but it's been a longish day, so I thought I'd head over and get a dose to get me through the afternoon.

Normally, this is the sort of sight one might behold.

Which makes me feel better that Olive is Queen Destructor at my abode.

But this is today's post.

The most HAWESOME shot ever.

Go ahead. Click it.

You need to see this in a large format.

And yes, Chuck's male and Coco's female.

Which just adds to the delightfulness...

But, really? It's that look.

That look on Chuck's face.

Priceless.

Enjoy the rest of your day, my friends.

It's all downhill from here.

whatever happened to hi-fi?

Back in the year 2008, J tagged me to blog about artistic influences.

I've started that response at least three times and left each post to fester. But this morning, my ipod shuffle is screaming at me to at least respond in part.

First, the meme: 1. List three of your major artistic influences and three unexpected ones, and 2. If you post something in the comments here, I will guess three of your artistic influences.

Before my reveal, here were J's guesses for me: Dorothy Parker, Buzzcocks, Jean Shepherd, Samuel L. Jackson.

Man. J gives me credit for being way cooler than I really am.

While my humor has always been fairly dark, wise-cracky and based on an ongoing game of one-upmanship since puberty (perhaps even earlier), I really never saw myself as smart enough to keep up with the likes of the Algonquin Round Table.

Even in my heady 20's when I thought my snarky retorts were my best and brightest feature. Still, that's a swank compliment...so I'll take it!

J was much closer to the mark on the Buzzcocks!

I was very much in love with anything British in junior high and high school. I wore out my dubbed cassette copy of The English Beat ( I Just Can't Stop) on one side and The Police (Synchronicity) on the other. I have no doubt that I would have followed Elvis Costello or Joe Jackson to the ends of the earth.

The Buzzcocks pop/punk was not only kick ass to listen to, but filled the requirement to at least sound risque to the point that I hid my cassette of Love Bites at home, for fear my father would make me get rid of it.

I lived in a house where "stinker" was the worst allowable word you could use. Even a quiet uttering of "crap" would get you grounded. I didn't want to find out what punishable fate owning a tape with the word "cock" emblazoned on it might deliver.

I have to admit Jean Shepard threw me for a loop. No idea who that was. I'm not sure if J meant Jean Shepard (DJ/writer/narrator) or Jean Shepard (country music singer/songwriter.)
Either way...I had to look them both up. Oof.

As for Samuel Jackson...I do believe that he inspired me to use a certain word way more than I used to in both my personal and artistic life. And, I think you motherfuckers know which motherfucking word I'm motherfucking talking about.


Tomorrow, I'll post three major artistic influences.


While I have no idea where my duped cassette copy of the Buzzcocks may have landed after 20 some years, after J mentioned them, I had an old gift certificate that I traded in for Singles Going Steady.

For now, I just wanted to post the song that finally spurred me to action. I can't access youtube at the moment, but I'll try to add a link later.


I wish you could see you the huge grin that listening to this song is giving me.
1) It's got a rockin' good punk sound.
2) Remembering how this song fueled my ideas of teen rebellion..is cracking me up.
3) The delivery of "oh shit" is so...impotently agnsty? Past the anger, just plain annoyed acceptance of the truth.

Oh Shit
Oh shit I thought you and I were friends
Oh shit I guess this is where our love ends
Oh shit I thought things were goin' well
But it hasn't turned out so swell
Has it?
Oh shit
Oh shit

Pride comes before a fall
Oh shit and once you lose one you've lost them all
Oh shit I guess that this time's the time
And it seem you're no longer mine
Don't it?
Oh shit
Oh shit

Oh shit I wish I'd known before now
Oh shit that you were such a cow
Oh shit I wouldn't've wasted my time
Oh shit chasin' somethin' which wasn't mine
Face it
You're shit
You're shit

Oh shit I wish I'd known before now
Oh shit that you were such a fuckin' cow
Oh shit I wouldn't've wasted my time
Oh shit chasin' somethin' which could never be mine
Admit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
Admit
Admit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit

For the record, I don't think anyone is "shit."
I'm just rocking out to my teenage soundtrack.

I hope you can embrace the awesomeness the Buzzcocks have bestowed upon us all.