guilty pleasure

It seems like nearly every day, I get another call or hear about another friend who's getting laid off.

When people cheerily ask me "How are things, goin' with you?" I want to clock them. I know it's more out of habit to ask that, but really...look around! Things are freaking rough out there. I feel like I'm juggling and dancing and at any moments all the plates that I'm spinning will come crashing down on top of me.

And I've still got my job.
Good times. Good times.

Well, today, we had our annual end-of-the-year team lunch. It was decidedly dressed down compared to prior years, and to be honest, I was stunned that my boss gave the green light to even a cheapie lunch out on the company dime.

One of the youngsters I work with brought up the plan for a $20 grab bag. I've been watching most of the nickels I have left, so I figured that I would skip it this year. I mean, I really wasn't all that interested in exchanging a bottle of good tequila for a gift certificate to Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts/whathaveyou.

Last night, as we prepare ourselves for the onslaught of nature kicking our frozen asses yet again, I stopped at the grocery store to stock up on provisions. Milk, soup, tomatoes and a box of Little Debbies. I can't survive the storm without that little brat making good with the swiss rolls.

As I careened through the aisles, my brain started to tick about the grab bag and the next thing you know, I'm blowing good money after bad and putting together a holiday survival kit.


Rebar's Holiday Survival Kit:
Candy Canes. Check.
Nestle's Hot Chocolate Mix. Check.
Mini-Marshmellows. Check.
Breast Cancer Awareness Mug. Check. (Only mug I could find at the Jewel)
Hiram Walker's Peppermint Schnapps. Check it.
DVD of the 1969 made-for-TV holiday special, The Littlest Angel. Check.

As they say in merry olde England, "How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

If you've yet to swim in the delights that a hot mug of chocolate spiked with peppermint schnapps, stirred to perfection with your candy cane swizzle stick can offer?

Baby, get on board, because the joy of the season is passing your ass by.

Swimming in that mug, while watching Fred Gwynne, Cab Calloway and Tony Randall kick out the heavenly jams? This is the blessing you have prayed your whole life to receive.


Back at lunch....we did that version of "grab bag" where people can "snatch" your present. I was, er...the snatchee. At the end of the game, I ended up with a gift wrapped in newspaper - which, while a very green choice - gave me a bit of deja vu for a christmas some years back where I got stuck with a gift wrapped in some paper towels.

But that's a story for another day.

To my delight, I opened the giant box and after much digging, found a sheet of paper to serve as my gift certificate...to Amazon. For $25 large, yo. The giver, feeling somewhat shamed for not having bought an actual gift, threw in an extra fiver. Sweet.

I've been pining for The Thin Man Collection. All SIX of the Thin Man films! Every now and then, I check over at DeepDiscount.com to see if they put it on sale. I know $40-50 isn't much, but when you're trying to pay down your bills...I just could never pull the trigger.

And that's when the Baby Jesus showed up.

Amazon had the DVD set for a mere $26.99.
With free shipping, yo!

I was more than happy to pony up the extra $1.99!


And now the guilt sets in.

While I know I couldn't pay my bills with an gift certificate...

...money's tight with my sister, maybe I should have gotten my nephew an extra gift.
...or given it to someone who just got laid off, who could use it more than myself.
...perhaps bought a toy for a sick kid who's laid up with a bald head in the hospital.

I'm sure I'll get over it, but all of a sudden, spending that $25 on myself makes me feel like a grade-A heel.

Ho. Ho. Ho.